DJTalk.com

Forward into the past

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 07:19:40 GMT

Do you think the "standard image" of a DJ is a "tuxedo-wearing, loud-booming, cheesy DJ-voice-announcing, chicken-dance-leading" type of guy? When people hire a DJ, do they really think they're going to get "a flake showing up with five buddies and getting drunk on your dollar"? Maybe in 1985.

But that's the horrible hyperbole actor wannabe Kristopher "KC" Campbell, owner of VOX DJs in Manhattan Beach, would have you believe in a newspaper puff piece about his company's 25th anniversary. Campbell, who admits he made a better DJ than actor, says he was once called the "human jukebox".

So why even bring up a "messy stereotype" that's erroneous? And to boot the "chicken dance" snap wasn't part of his original interview, but an email afterthought. Guess he decided not to be so "professional" after all.

I think it's great that the writer goes into great detail that a professional DJ company is run just like any other professional business. Campbell says he cut his rates by 15% last year "because of the recession". (Careful! Those who insist that you should "get what you're worth" despite economic conditions might hear your good sense!)

PR hint: The media won't make a snarky remark about the head of an ~~allegedly~~ professional organization if you have a real name.

"Dr. Drax," the president of the American Disc Jockey Association ... who wouldn't give his full name, said from Phoenix. "It's not simply a matter of showing up and being cool, rather it's about working with the couple to craft something unique and memorable."

The writer finishes her puffing noting Campbell's hope "to change the (DJ) profession's image." Here's a suggestion: Move on from invoking negative and dated stereotypes to make yourself look good.

Heil Ferrell?

Sat, 05 Sep 2009 01:28:48 GMT

With tongue planted firmly in cheek (I hope!) here's another video from Indianapolis DJ Mark Beecher poking fun at former DJ industry sensation (r.) Mark Ferrell. The parody videos using this scene from the 2004 German movie Der Untergang ("The Downfall") have poked fun at various targets and have been making the rounds of YouTube for awhile.

For those DJs who have been following this blog for years and know the names of all the "players", you're sure to get a grin. If not, it's a good time to read through our archives so you can be let in on this not-so-inside joke.

Can't see the embedded video below? View it on YouTube here.

Twitterpated

Sat, 11 Jul 2009 01:58:23 GMT

It’s not that the Cheap Craigslist DJs have been in hibernation, but I’ll admit I got bored snarking on their same misspellings and bad grammar. Besides, isn’t the buzz all about Twitter now? So I put in “Wedding DJ” as a search term there to see what would happen. MUCH better snarking material and only 140 characters to boot! So let’s see what some of the horribly-bored-by-a-cheap-DJ wedding guestsTtweeteth:

DozaSaid: As I sit at this wedding reception dolo the DJ throws on “I Need Love” by LL Cool J…go to hell Mr. DJ.

Yikes! I can’t think of ANY wedding where that song would be appropriate, especially the part that says:
I wanna kiss you hold you never scold you just love you
suck on you neck, caress you and rub you
Grind moan and never be alone …
Clean and unsoiled yet sweaty and wet
I swear to you this is something that I’ll never forget

Something tells me the groom may not need any suggestions for the honeymoon.

chrisrobb: I hate wedding dj’s how pretend that crap accent, are they taught that somewhere?

What kind of accent does crap have? I can see how it might be odorous, but what does it sound like? I agree that some DJs who get on the mic talk that faux 70’s Top 40 DJ puke. Having natural vocal skills is a completely different talent than mixing music. You might be good at one and suck at another.

heydjbobby: July 19th virginia beach wedding dj Sunday evening. Looking for a Hampton Roads Wedding DJ? www.heydjbobby.com/Hey DJ

I wonder if DJ Bobby’s bride client has any idea that with only 8 days until her wedding she has no DJ? Or maybe she does, since Bobby displays his Twitter feed on his website? If I was worried about covering a date, I don’t think I’d try to fill it where it could be seen by my clients!

ald2006: Dear DJ: if you’re “too busy” to even acknowledge that we asked you a question, why did u say u had the availability to do our wedding?

Because lots of big cheap multi-op wedding DJ companies want you to book now, and they’ll worry about finding you a DJ after your check clears. Once some Cheap DJs have already gotten their hands on your money, good luck to you in getting them to return calls, let alone not even show up. That’s why some DJs are advertising $300 shows and others are $1200. Service, baby, service!

simonbairu: Worst wedding music ever! I think the dj is playing the ‘armageddon’ soundtrack mixed with some ’sweet home Alabama’ Still a good time!

Shut the fuck up. You know you love it.

Why would anyone want a "pseudo" DJ?

Wed, 11 Mar 2009 05:52:47 GMT

Here's an ad from someone looking for a DJ. Or perhaps a "disc-jockey" who will literally jockey their discs. The happy couple doesn't want much. They'll even let you bring a friend, eat and drink and chase skirts...as long as you're "somewhat focused"! All that and a C-note to boot for EIGHT hours.

Need psuedo-DJ for our Wedding (Gig Harbor (Lake Bay))
Reply to: gigs-xxxxxxx@craigslist.org
Date: 2009-03-09, 8:48PM PDT

Here is the deal. We are getting married on April 4th 2009 and need someone to make sure the music keeps playing. You will need to be there from 12pm Noon to 8pm. Bring a friend if you want. Food, Drink & cake is all included here too! Will pay $100. This is a very simple job. We'll have everything setup including speakers, amp, 5-disc CD changer. The 5 discs loaded will be full with MP3 audio and you'll have the master track list. 1 of the discs will have the importants songs that you will be notified when to play them. You DON'T need to talk over a microphone or take requests. This would be great for a college student. You'll need to dress semi-formal as well as your partner if you choose to bring someone. Wedding will be in Lake Bay. You'll get $100 plus food, drink, & cake **oh and for the single guys who may be interested there will be plenty of single ladies in their early 20's attending but you must stay somewhat focused on the task at hand. thanks!

Biggest day of their life, all their friends and family there, spending thousands of dollars on food and drinks and flowers and freakin' $3 chair covers, but the DJ? No biggie. Until it's "Hey, take your hands off the bridesmaid's ass and get 'somewhat focused' on playing the next song!"

Cheap Craigslist DJs

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 06:02:45 GMT

If you thought Craigslist was just for satisfying your prurient curiosities, think again! Because in the mobile disc jockey community, it's also become the haven for unprofessional amateur lowballers. That's right, why should Betty Bride pay $1200 for a so-called "professional" disc jockey when for less than half that you can get someone to do the exact same thing? Or so they say.

Truth is, over the years I've gotten more than my share of calls from desperate brides about the $300 DJ they hired off of Craigslist who never wanted to "bother with" a contract and now with her wedding two weeks away she can't get him to return the dozen phone messages she's left him over the past month. There's also a contingent of wannabes and hobbyists who whore themselves out for peanuts to whom DJing is a way to download illegal music, pick up women, feed their ego, play what they want and generally vex professional career disc jockeys by giving us a bad name.

Don't get me wrong. There are plenty of well-qualified professional DJs who advertise on Craigslist. I'm one of them. What's wrong with a highly-trafficked local website where you can advertise for free? And not just with tiny text either...with full HTML graphics! But lately when you get a bunch of DJs together - either virtually or in person - the talk always seems to turn to "those gig pigs" on Craigslist who give professional DJs a bad name and cheapen our public perception with their badly-worded (and mispelled) ads:

Dj for any event (EXECELLENT RATES)

Hi, my names brad and i am a mobile hip hop dj for pretty much any event, i however cant do bars and clubs BY THE OWNER but if you are having a party there i can come to it. my setup is 2 PA speakers, 2 numark axis nines that never drop the beat, and my mixer, sorry but I HAVE NO LIGHTS exept for one strobe, call me for pricing, times, bookings, and let me know whatever you need and i'll see if im open that day, 724 516 3438, or you can drop by my website, http:// abbottmusic.wetpaint .com , i prefer to serve westmorland but i will do the outskirts as well, with love and respect

dj brad "signacha sounds" abbott

Is it any wonder that such ads breed Craigslist inquiries like this?

Hey Mr. DJ put a record on!!! Party in Lakeview needs a DJ 8/15/08 (Lakeview (Park Place Towers))

I will be having an outdoor party from around 3pm to 8pm. This will be a laidback style B-day bash for myself and other people I know. We will be grilling and drinking and you can drink and socialize as well. Music is up to you, so you can pratice your new set.. or try new music. Pay is limited to around $20-$25 dollars, but I am sure you might get a gig out of it, plus you can drink for free. Let me know asap... I will find a DJ by Tue. or Wed... you can email @ Jackso@ my.wgu.edu

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll hear the DJ demagogues chant not to worry about them, keep your eyes on the prize and your own business. But even the best DJs sometimes get so frustrated with these ads, they fight fire with fire by posting their own:

If you're looking for low quality, obnoxious entertainment, look no further.

I can ruin any event with my cheezy, embarasssing, show stealing, antics.

You'll wish to hell you'd never heard of me by the time your event is over.

I talk over most of the songs and I make crude remarks at inappropriate times.

And if you're real lucky, I'll be drunk or high. Assuming that I actually show up at all, that is.

I use only low quality, Radio Shack equipment with all the wires exposed and hanging everywhere and all my music is downloaded illegally.

And I don't bother to carry backup equipment, cuz I can't afford it.

In fact, I'm so awesome, I use Craigslist as my sole source of advertising.

For more info, click on my website that was designed by a retarded chimpanzee.

www.lousydj.com 1-888-REAL-BAD

Good Luck.

Cash only and no money back guarantee. You get what you pay for.

Damn, that's funny stuff. How about we all laugh together? I've started a new blog which will archive the best of the worst Craiglist DJ ads so the rest of us can snark on them. I'll try to post new ads a couple of times a week...until I get tired of it.

So get it while it lasts! Stop by Cheap Craigslist DJs, and tell me what you think. Already some not-so-flattering comments there. I'm lovin' it.

Oh, and if YOU are one of the cheap DJs I make fun of there? You're welcome.

Can anyone be a DJ? Yes...you...CAN!

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 05:56:31 GMT

For years how I've been saying some professional DJs continue to bury their heads in the sand about the real value they contribute to an event.

Here's a hint. It's not the music.

It's talent. And that's something you can't buy in a book, pay some self-styled DJ guru for, learn at a DJ convention or see on someone's training DVD.

Can anyone be a professional disc jockey? If you are defining "disc jockey" as the act of seguing different songs over an amplification system, of course! It's not rocket science to push play.

The tricky part comes with knowing on the fly the right songs to play based on the mood of the crowd, or the mood you want to create. Oh, and all that microphone stuff that weddings demand to emcee the different formalities that happen.

There's no doubt about it. It takes talent to make a living as a professional disc jockey.

But what if you only have to do it once? What if you're the friend or relative of a frugal bride who asks you as a favor if you would play the role of disc jockey for her wedding?

When I came upon the website called You Can Be The DJ I was hit in the face with the result of my own procastination. Hello pot? Kettle here. Although any enterprising Googler can find "iPod wedding" information on all kinds of web sites, the aggregation here certainly seems worth $39.95.

What's more, like any enterprising drug dealer, they'll even give you a couple of "tastes" for free via email.

Your First Tip to a Fun and Easy iPod Wedding

Hi Dan,
Here's your first tip… Most wedding receptions run about four hours.

During the first half hour the bride, groom and bridal party will be getting their pictures taken so you need to make sure that someone is available at the reception hall to be playing music, greeting the guests and informing them of the following:

-The location of the sign-in table.
-The location of the gift table.
-If there is a bar whether it is an open or cash bar.
-Any other information you want your guests to know.

When you arrive your acting DJ should be ready to make the introductions and keep the music going. You will want to make sure that all the announcements are made in the correct order and culminate with the bride and groom as the center of attention.

After the introductions the reception will continue with the First Dance, Bridal Party Dances, toast and meal and the rest of the tradtional highlights.

Of course, you will want to have all the music and announcements ready to go, so go over all the planned activities well in advance of the wedding day. By doing so you will have all the music and announcements ready on the day of the event.

The Easy to use, You Can Be The DJ Wedding DJ Program includes a detailed wedding reception timeline that shows all the important activities. You will also find easy to use checklists and fill-in the blank forms designed so that you have easy access to everything you need the day of the reception. The checklists and forms make sure nothing is forgotten, so you know the night will be special for everyone!

Your next tip will arrive tomorrow.

Wow...caught a little buzz but nothing mind-altering. Most people have been to at least a couple of weddings and have seen what is done. But how is it done? Looks like I'll need another dose...

Your Second Tip to a Fun and Easy iPod Wedding

Hi Dan,
Here's your next tip…

Traditional dance and participation activities are fun and usually part of every wedding reception. There are excellent reasons for this.

Activities such as the Party Train, Cha-Cha Slide, YMCA and others break the ice, motivate your guests, and get them out on the dance floor. There are many dance and participation activities available to encourage your guests of all ages to get out of their chairs and enjoy the night.
To get the most people up and dancing, review the available activities before your event. Then choose the ones that best suit your personality, the theme of your reception, and the guests that will be in attendance.

After making your selections, the bride, groom and DJ should go over the details of each activity. The bride and groom should decide on their level of involvement for each activity, and be comfortable with how they are called to the dance floor. Announcements can then be customized and each activity, and be planned to start only when all those that need to be included are available and ready to go.

Make sure that you include a good variety of dance and participation activities for your reception. Remember, there will be a wide variety of ages, backgrounds and music preferences, so make sure that you provide a range of activities. This way everyone will get a chance to mix and mingle to their favorites.

The You Can Be The DJ – Wedding DJ Guidebook includes detailed descriptions for a wide variety of activities. How to effectively include each activity in your reception to get the most participation is explained, and detailed music playlists are provided to complement each activity. The guidebook is a FUN and EASY read, with forms that you just FILL-IN the blanks! What could be easier?! It is a necessity for every bride who wants to make sure that her reception is a fun and memorable experience for everyone!

Your next tip will arrive tomorrow.

Heyyyy...they're talking about all the stuff that *I* do! And that I get paid thousands of dollars for! We all know that the sign of real talent is to make this all LOOK easy. But now that I read it in black and white, it doesn't really seem that hard. At least not if I just had to do it ONCE. OK, third time's a charm... tomorrow.

Your Third Tip to a Fun and Easy iPod Wedding

Hi Dan,

Here's your next tip…

Selecting Music for Your Event

Selecting the music for your reception is one of the most important things you can do to ensure that your guests will enjoy themselves.

Select music from time tested favorites for the variety of generations that will be in attendance. Remember that the music sets the mood for the different parts of the evening.

As your guests are waiting for you to arrive create a classy cocktail hour atmosphere with easy listening music that your guests can converse over. Instrumentals work best here, so you’ll want your selections to reflect your personality and the theme of your reception.

During the food service loud selections may prevent your guests from getting acquainted and comfortable with each other, so a selection of romantic love songs works well as a background at this point.

After the meal you’ll be getting your selected participation activities and dancing started, so you’ll want a wide variety of songs so that you can get all your guests up and dancing.

Putting together a great, effective playlist is one of the most stressful parts of the wedding planning for a bride. So why not make it easy with the You Can Be The DJ Wedding DJ Program E-book?

The e-book includes playlists full of popular wedding music requests, fill-in forms and checklists to help you plan the best music selections for all aspects of your wedding reception. It’s easy and the process is actually a lot of fun!

Included with the e-book is access to our members only website. You can search 1000’s of titles and artists for just the right songs. Wedding based search categories allow you to quickly and easily find the song you’re looking for.

Members also get access to online playlists with songs specifically designed to make your wedding reception music choices easy. No more spending hours trying to find the “right” music, only to still be unsure if it will work! The online playlists provide instant access to the music that will make your wedding reception rock!

We’ve put together the best and most requested wedding reception music in our online playlists! These highly focused selections reduce the number of songs you'll need to buy. They provide the essential core music to plan your activities and play your guests requests.

Your next tip will arrive tomorrow.

Geez, how many more tips can there be? What more could there possibly be to know? As for music lists, can't anyone find plenty of free ones online ... usually on some DJ website?

So why do so many DJs try to scare or bully their prospects into believing their wedding day will be absolutely decimated if they can't budget for a professional MC/DJ? You can afford me? Great! You've got a real pro on your team. But for a DJ to dare suggest - like some in our industry - that a bride forego chair covers or party favors because a professional DJ is what's really important? Why can't someone who wants to do their homework (or pay for the crib notes) wants to play DJ? Must they be automatically ridiculed and scorned by we who do this for a living? Can't most anyone be an adequate DJ for five measly hours? So many questions. But only one answer...

Free, but not cheap

Wed, 10 Sep 2008 05:28:03 GMT

If you limit your sources of DJ industry knowledge to those which don't carry a price tag, does that make you a de facto bottomfeeder? Or are you really losing out on some proprietary industry epiphany? Some with a vested financial interest want you to believe the latter.

I'm not buying the hype. You don't get my vote, nor my credit card number.

Here's some stats. The largest web community for disc jockeys boasts nearly 1,000,000 posts and over 51,000 members. The second largest DJ site reports they have over 450,000 posts and about 9,500 members. Another DJ forum displays 190,149 posts and 1,261 members. Yet another DJ web message board shows 20,228 posts and 1,274 registered users.

Do you think it's possible that in ALL that content written by ALL those DJs that there's really anything that one can only learn by paying some self-styled DJ guru?

I believe that goes beyond "highly unlikely" to flat out ridiculous.

But aggregation also has its value. Take a look at DriverGuide.com. If you need a driver file for your scanner, printer or some other computer peripheral you can either search manufacturers' websites, look through your old CD-ROMs or find the file on the Internet on your own ... or for $2.95 you can instantly download the file from DriverGuide who exists to aggregate and distribute material that is available elsewhere for free.

Jeepers, one self-styled DJ guru made a name for himself by having a book printed consisting mainly of interviews with other industry leaders. (Including yours truly.) This is the same guy who now offers speeches and seminars at various DJ confabs...with a reputation built on the backs of those who been there and done that.

Shouldn't we all work together to help the industry instead of creating barriers? Then why does it seem the root of this chasm are those for-profit DJ demagogues? Since my involvement in online DJ communities nearly 20 years ago, I've found most have an open door policy on opinions. They embrace everyone who comes freely to share freely.

But some have adopted an "agreed upon congeniality". And anyone who dares to question whether the emperor is indeed wearing clothes, find themselves ostracized in short order. I'm far more impressed with open minds than those who are convinced they offer "the way" for a price.

It's a fact that the overwhelming majority of working mobile DJs do not engage in that pursuit full time. And they're quite happy doing so! (Not to mention their many happy clients!) Others - mainly those DJ hucksters who have a seminar/video/book to sell - want to represent that unless your goal is to make DJing your sole source of revenue that you can't possibly be as serious or as "professional" (however you want to define that) as one who does.

We've come a long way in exchanging industry knowledge and information since I started in 1978. I've learned countless nuggets from the thousands of DJs working in the banquet room trenches every week who freely contribute their time, thought, opinions and experiences to build the disc jockey industry. I thank and salute them for their valuable advice that may be free...but it's not cheap.

Kids, don't try this at home

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 22:09:27 GMT

At last week's Seattle DJ Association event (one of our best attended ever!) I was chatting with some of the members about their take on this year's summer wedding season. The conversation turned to a recent trend, the "Love Story" where the DJ presents a scripted narrative of how the bride and groom met. Purportedly originated in 1989 by a California ~~blowhard~~ DJ emcee, it doesn't seem new or revolutionary for a story or anecdote to be shared about this...I've seen it done hundreds of times by a father, grandfather, best man or friend of the happy couple.

The difference? Sincerity. When a family member shares a story you can see it's done with love and emotion. Whenever I've seen a wedding DJ do it, too often it smacks of a formulaic presentation where the blanks were filled in on some questionnaire, but there's none of the gravitas. Take a look at one recent "Love Story" course graduate's attempt to practice what he spent nearly $1000 to learn. (If video is not embedded below, see it here.)

Seriously, folks...this man sat through hours of training to come up with this. (Yay! Boo!) If I were one of the family or friends of the bride and groom who I knew relatively well enough to take the time to be at their wedding, I would be thinking throughout this 7-minute diatribe, "Who the hell is THIS guy and when is this going to be over?"

I do believe that it takes a certain amount of innate talent to pull off any type of public speaking, let alone something where you're trying to relate deeply personal anecdotes about relative strangers. It rings about as genuine as a funeral service delivered by the funeral home's director or a priest who may have only seen the deceased on the occasional Sunday.

To be fair, I've also seen these done with much more production value. Whether it's audio clips recorded by family members, a slideshow of old photos or some other video/audio embellishment, it's much more compelling to watch and holds your attention better than hearing a hired speaker with no personal knowledge of whom he's talking about drone on. Although this past summer I saw a bride and groom hire a videographer to produce their own slickly produced taped tale of personal anecdotes. The production value didn't help the presentation which must have been at least 30 minutes - or felt like it!. At least now I know the reasons behind their pet names for each other.

The best speakers know to attract and maintain their audience's attention. Once your remarks go over 2-3 minutes, you better be DAMN entertaining. Relying on "obligation" to get guests' interest and participation ("We owe it to our hosts to watch this!") doesn't seem genuine. I paid for your prime rib, now you have to sit through the presentation. Sounds more like they're trying to sell you a time share than share and entertain.

Those brides who have approached me about such an oral presentation, I do my best to talk them out of it. Slideshow during dinner? Sure, why not? Even one with a mixed music soundtrack doesn't require the rapt attention as someone talking at you for 10 minutes. I instead encourage them to take those photos and produce a keepsake booklet with pics and anecdotes. Kinko's can put these things together for about a buck each. Now you have a terrific favor for your guests to take home and read at their leisure where they'll probably retain and appreciate it more.

Certainly a major reason some bridal clients seek out a professional DJ is for their help in making their event unique and memorable. Now it's the dramatically choreographed first dances. Five to ten years ago it was with the "key routine" where all the groomsmen would parade to the dance floor to return the bride's "house keys" prior to the garter and bouquet ceremony. What will be the next trend? With many brides playing the aspiring princess role where "it's all about me", hopefully they'll consider something with more entertainment appeal than ego appeal. I think it's not only my job, but, in a sense, my fiduciary duty to help my clients create the most entertaining event for ALL who attend.

Bar none

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 03:01:49 GMT

If you believe some in the industry, the only professional DJ is a wedding DJ. And not just any wedding DJ. They have to be one who also does all the planning, elaborate grand entrances and video presentations and charges at least $1,200.00

What about DJs who spend those same 4-5 hours spinning in a bar? Are those types of gigs supposed to be beneath any disc jockey who wants to be considered a "professional"?

I've met a lot of bar jocks via the Seattle Disc Jockey Association. Many of them unashamedly told me they had absolutely no interest in playing wedding gigs. Even if it paid more, having to endure 2 hours of dinner jazz before kicking into a dance set (which might well include Frank Sinatra) wasn't their idea of what a DJ was about. They got more satisfaction from playing current dance music to a dance crowd in a bar environment and showing off their mixing and mashup skills.

And what's wrong with that?

So at the risk of being seen as "unprofessional" by those DJs engorged with their own self-importance, I'll give some advice to those DJs who are looking to supplement their schedule with bar gigs. I believe there are two ways to go:

1) Go pitch to bars which already have a DJ and let them know what you can do better. This will require you doing a little recon and taking notes about their existing DJ - what they're doing right/wrong and how the crowd reacts.

For those who think that it's somehow dirty pool to "steal" another DJs gig, understand showbiz (as loosely as DJs affiliate with that moniker) has always been competitive. Before he was a TV and music publishing mogul, Lawrence Welk played as the house band for several hotels and dance halls throughout the Midwest. This his agent (or maybe Lawrence himself) was waiting for there to be a vacancy on the bandstand before pitching himself?

Confidence will go a long way...but be prepared to demonstrate what YOU do that makes it worth the owner making a change. Do you already have a following? A bevy of MySpace friends? Can you pack them in better than the other DJ? Warning: You never know who the DJ is a friend of...they might even be the owner's nephew. It may well be the owner knows his DJ can be better, but he might still be satisfied enough to not want to make a change.

2) Pitch to bars which have no DJ. This has an instant challenge because there's obviously a reason why they don't already have one. Might be they had one in the past and it didn't increase business beyond having a jukebox (which pays THEM from its use!). Might be they had a bad experience with A DJ in the past - or attracted what they considered a "bad element" - and it caused more trouble than it paid off. Might be they don't have the money to even try out a DJ to see if their revenue increases.

In either case, you have to plan your pitch to the owner. How will you present yourself and what will you say?

- Dress professionally, as if you are going to a business meeting. Many bar owners alrady think all DJs are shady undependable characters who are a dime a dozen. Demonstrate from the very first that you are a professional!

- Go in with a written proposal and a contract. The proposal should have pics of your rig, perhaps some wording about the number and type of songs you have, names of other venues which you've played.

The way I've approached bars is with a non-cancellable 4-week contract. Bar owners are notorious for wanting to see instant results. It's possible some might be inclined to cancel after week 1 because they don't see enough of a "bounce", particularly if they've never had a DJ before. In my presentation, I explain that it will take about 4 weeks for the word to get out and a crowd to develop and tell them, "If I can't make money for you after 4 weeks...I don't want to be here either!"

If at Week #4 they do not cancel, then my contract continues for 13 weeks, at which time we can renegotiate or decide to work informally week-to-week. Don't be afraid to get a signature! When a bar deals with ANY professional supplier entity from the beer companies to the pinball machine operator, they SIGN A CONTRACT. That's just business.

The most important thing? Promotion! Spell out how this new DJ night will be promoted and who will be doing it. Will there be table tents, posters, flyers in the bar? Will you need to supply them or will they? (Another reason for my 4-week contract; it makes it more sensible for me to perhaps spend a few dollars in printing that even if it only lasts 4 weeks, I can amortize the investment.) Does the bar have a standing ad in the local paper to which they can add you? Their on-hold message? It's just as important for the bar owner to be on board with promoting you as you are about letting all your friends know about the new gig.

Make sure your pitch is keyed to the type of bar, the neighborhood and perhaps to their existing crowd. No bar owner suddenly wants a bunch of thugs in their place. For sure hip hop and rap are popular with the bar crowd, but understand they can also attract a certain "element" that some bar owners don't want regardless of how much they spend. They also don't want to run off their regulars who keep them in business all week just for the sake of their weekends. You should be ready to suggest a little more than "hire me to come in and play music". Maybe an 80s night, lipsync night, country night, etc.

Finally, don't set yourself up for failure. If the bar is too small or a sucky dive, you're probably not going to turn their business around to any significant degree no matter what you do. So make sure the bars on your "hit list" at least have the potential of being a good venue - popular well-traveled location, nice space and dance floor, etc. Then get out there and start knocking on doors!

Lately I've been riding the karaoke train with a couple of weeknight sing things. I personally find it much more satisfying and personality-driven than spending 5 hours thumping at 92-95 bpm. I don't have to painstakingly prepare itineraries or sit through 2 hours of cocktail music either...just get paid for having fun. Isn't that why we picked up the headphones to begin with?

Dating the disc jockey

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 02:05:18 GMT

I'll admit it's been awhile since I've been single and dating, but being a DJ has always had its share of allure for the ladies. I've never tried to pick up bridesmaids at a wedding, but women I'd meet who would ask "What do you do?" had a definite heightening of interest once I told them I was a disc jockey.

So when I came across this MySpace blog from DJ Little P. called "Now, what’s it take to date a DJ?" it brought back some memories:

First, understand being a DJ is just a job. Being a DJ isn’t like being the CEO of a major multi-billion dollar conglomerate. It’s a fun job, but it’s just a job, and unless you’re spinning major clubs, own a DJ/entertainment company or are independently wealthy, most have another ’real’ job.

Second, this job requires a certain amount of friendliness. Doesn’t mean the DJ is going to be nice to everybody, because some people who request songs are just truly a pain in the ass. But for the most part DJs are friendly, social and even flirt with their client-base, to a degree. It’s part of the business. People won’t come back to hear you play, no matter how good you are, if you’re a total ass. In being nice, it’s fair to say some will take a DJ being nice and flirty to mean they are into them. So in order to date a DJ you need to be strong, secure and confident, but above all else you must have faith and trust in them.

Third, people will hang around the booth, try to get the attention of the DJ and will make total fools of themselves doing it. Don’t get mad, just laugh at how pathetic they are. Do not hang out in the booth all night long with your DJ. If your DJ is a regular at a club, hopefully you have friends who will go out with you, or you know others there. Mingle, do your thing, dance and don’t worry about what your DJ is doing. You trust them, remember?

Fourth, if your DJ has a website, people will leave comments, messages and they will likely be filled with sexual innuendo. It’s part of the game they have to play. It doesn’t mean they enjoy it. Truth is, on any given night any DJ can get laid, but most DJs are not, behind closed doors, the persona they are in the club doing their thing. Remember, you know your DJ and who he or she really is.

Fifth, if your DJ travels, it is quite likely their fans will travel with them and that they have fans in every club location they play. I have a friend who had somebody follow him to Georgia. Doesn’t mean he was into her. She was a fan of his work. Maybe she wanted to do him, maybe she didn’t, but it wasn’t HIS choice she follow him. You can’t hold your DJ accountable for the actions of other, only theirs.

Dating a DJ…it’s a hard thing to do, because there are those that are just in the game for the play. Of the two I personally dated, both were in it for the babes.

Jealously is a part of human nature, but the most important thing you can remember is this; Doesn’t matter how great you are, if your DJ is going to play on the side, they are going to play on the side. Nothing you can or could do would or will prevent it. It’s up to you to decide if you don’t deserve better, or if you want to just be the "lead" groupie in their life. A DJ who truly cares for the special person in their life won’t play with anything other than the turntables, the CD player, the DVD player and the light show if they are truly into you.

To all my DJs – please don’t take offense by the above, because you know what I say is true. I’m on OUR side. I can honestly say most of those I know personally are pretty good people…just looking for love like everybody else.

And you are lucky enough to land one, just remember, they are usually pretty good with their hands.

Thanks, P. But you forgot to mention DJs are best with our MOUTHS!

Long live bottom feeders!

Fri, 27 Jun 2008 22:18:08 GMT

Like it or not, having DJs at parties is becoming less of a "special event" and just as expected as having balloons or cake. However not everyone can afford the $600+ which most professional DJs in my local area charge.

Should those who hire the $300 DJs be held in contempt for not wanting to go into hock for a party? Should those discount DJs be held in contempt for trying to get ahead in the industry and/or make a few bucks from a market that demands low-priced DJs for low-profile events?

Sure, many cheap DJs may use illegally downloaded music, burned CDs or even cassettes and home stereo gear. But they do what they're hired to do - play no-frills music. And often, that's all a smaller party really needs.

I get calls all the time for birthdays, barbecues, sweet 16's, etc. It's just about all the host can do to buy the food, drinks, decorations and perhaps rent a cheap hall. They were going to just use their own stereo, turn on the radio or put their cable Music Choice on, but wanted to explore what it would take to hire a DJ.

I never ridicule people for wanting to get the best DJ they can afford. In fact, I often refer people to Craigslist where the $300 DJs congregate. They appreciate my candor and honesty, and from time to time will even call me back for a wedding or corporate event which requires more expertise.

Perhaps the ancillary benefit of cheap DJs is that it sometimes make it easier for the pros to sell their services in the future. Bad DJ experiences are "live and learn" - and most clients recognize there is a definite correlation between price and quality.

So long live the bottom feeders! May their tinny speakers blaze on!

Making memories to last a lifetime

Mon, 23 Jun 2008 03:06:50 GMT

That seems to be the standard promise of DJs who advertise weddings: Memories to last a lifetime!

And every time I see that phrase spouted by a wedding DJ it makes me wince. Because what those hackneyed words seem to communicate is, "Nothing but weddings can create lifetime memories."

Last night I entertained a bat mitzvah party held on one of the vessels of a Seattle party boat company. The Dad of the honoree, Julia, made a point of telling the ship's captain to bring the boat close to the busier dockside attractions so she and her friends could whoop, holler and wave at the folks onshore. As we got to our closest point to shore, I gave a shout out on the mic, "Attention people on shore: All hail Queen Julia!" The guests went wild.

You think that 13-year girl didn't get a "memory to last a lifetime" right then and there?

That's the best reason DJs should always be on their game and give 1000% - you never know what type of celebration, party or event at which you're performing will be memorable for a guest. To us it might be "only" a backyard barbecue ... to a couple attending it might be the first time he says to her, "I love you!" To us it might be "only" someone's 60th birthday party ... the next day the birthday boy might kick the bucket and that party will be everyone's last memory of him.

Granted that because of the extensive pre-planning involved we may feel like we're "doing" more for our wedding clients. Certainly among the various types of events at which we entertain, weddings usually command a higher price. Not to mention that some DJs who specialize in weddings cop the attitude that they're more talented or of a better caliber than the DJ spinning at the local Friday Night Glow Bowl.

Both DJs are making people smile. And whether they know it or not, both are indeed making memories to last a lifetime.

"Why do DJs always need to be in control?"

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 04:51:57 GMT

This is a story about control, my control
Control of what I say, control of what I do
And this time I'm gonna do it my way
I hope you enjoy this as much as I do...

I should have known something odd would happen when the prospect called to tell me the DJ he needed was for his wedding the following Thursday. He rented a boat from one of the nicer charter places in Seattle and his reception was going to "climax" with the annual fireworks display on the lake. "Well, a friend of mine was going to be the DJ," he said, "but we wanted to see what it would take to hire a company to do it."

We arranged to meet at a local Starbucks at 6, because he was meeting another DJ there at 5:15. Because I didn't want to chance being late because of after work traffic, I ended up getting there early. I took an unobtrusive spot on the sofa with the newspaper. Into the lounge area, I see the prospect arrive and the man who I assume was from the other DJ company.

Now I tried not to listen to his pitch... but, well, you know...

He was apparently from a multi-op company who referred to "the DJ" in the third person. The prospect expressed how he wanted a DJ who was going to be "fun" and "not just sit there". I heard the prospect asking about specific song titles with the DJ rep replying, "We get a monthly music service or we can go out and get the songs you need."

A half hour later it was my turn. The groom opened with how he wanted things "just so" since THEY were paying for the wedding, not Mom and Dad. His first question asked specifically what kind of equipment I had. Not a question I usually get, as in my presentation I address my gear in a general sense as "professional caliber". But one I'm happy to get as geeky as they want!

That's when he let me know he'd come up with a list of 50 songs that he wanted played. And I would play just these songs. Period.

I explained that my clients choose me because of my experience in blending the right music and reading the crowd. So my policy on specific title requests is to allow my clients 5 "must-play" songs, 5 "please-play" songs and as many "don't play" songs as they wish. I also want them to give me a list of the artists and music genres they like. I assured him I'd be fun and interactive and even if I am "just standing there" (not a lot of room on the top deck of a yacht) there's a smile on my face while I'm moving to the music.

He went on to tell me that his list already had a wide variety of music and that he didn't wanted to take the time to write down all the songs he DIDN'T like (he's heard them at OTHER weddings), so he was pretty sold on having his chosen songs played.

Ah, hell. Another one of those people.

I looked him in the eye and said, "This is your day, and certainly you're entitled to having everything that you desire. And I respect that. So perhaps I'm not the disc jockey for you."

He looked up in surprise as I stood up and started putting my presentation materials together.

"I know that some DJ's always want to be in control," he shot back at me. I calmly mentioned it wasn't about control, it was about playing to your crowd in a contemporaneous fashion. That preprogramming such an event limits his guests enjoyment and actually doesn't take the talent of a "disc jockey" at all. I wouldn't do it - especially in the middle of the lake under July 4 fireworks. "You can get another DJ and maybe even save some money," I added. I wasn't trying to be a DJ snob, I wanted to do the job I was (ostensibly) being hired to do.

He looked shocked. "It's not about the money, it's about having what I want."

Without a doubt, I believe the client should have exactly what they want. No doubt he finally found a music mechanic to do just that.

In the prophetic year of 1984, Joe Jackson sang, "I’ll tell you one thing, You can’t get what you want, Till you know what you want."

Might there be some skill and talent in recognizing the fluid dynamics of programming music for a large number of people? Not to most people. But unfortunately, these hosts won't discover it until it's too late. It's true: You don't know what you don't know.

Can anyone be a DJ? Technically, yes. The gear is even sold at Wal-Mart. And that may devalue any recognized skill for being a DJ.

Although I'd think being schooled at thousands of parties on the best tunes to play for the highest enjoyment by the most guests at any given time would be more readily seen as a real and valuable skill. One worth paying for.

Kids, don't try this at home.

The big lie

Mon, 19 May 2008 18:01:27 GMT

Forget everything you've read by the so-called "DJ leaders." Forget everything you've seen in their seminars, books and DVD's. It's all based on a lie.

What's the lie?

That just because Randy Bartlett or Mark Ferrell or even Dan McKay has had success with a certain practice or methodology, that you can too.

Here's what online copywriter and author Nick Usborne (for whom I've been privileged to work) says in his article One of the Biggest Lies in Advertising:

There is a huge area in advertising that makes me angry.

It’s about a common lie used by marketers and copywriters.

One of the most prevalent examples of this lie can be found in weight-loss ads. You see a photo of someone before and after dieting. Maybe they lost 20lbs in 8 weeks.

Here comes the lie... “If she can do it, so can you.”

That’s not true.

Here’s another example, found on the sales pages of hundreds of information products being sold online.

The copy goes something like this...

“Bob was a plumber before reading this e-book. And now he’s making $30,000 a month from his own web site.”

And here comes that same lie again...

“If Bob can do it, anyone can.”

Not true.

The false premise...

This same lie is used over and over in advertising...for weight loss products, beauty products, get-rich-quick products, investment services and so on.

And every time the pitch is based on a false premise.

If Bob started making $30,000 a month with his web site, it is not because the system is foolproof and guaranteed to work for ANY plumber. It’s because, during all those years plumbing, Bob was unaware that he had an enormous but latent marketing talent that would fit perfectly with the online system he purchased.

And no, not every plumber has those same marketing skills.

It’s not because he was a plumber that Bob succeeded. It’s because he was Bob.

Why this lie is so prevalent

Marketers and copywriters love using this lie because it is so powerful.

Almost every wealth and health related infomercial and web site uses examples of what others have achieved. It’s a powerful way to sell. The prospect sits there and thinks, “Wow, these people are no different from me. If they can do it, maybe I can too.”

And, of course, some of those prospects will be able to do it too. But they’ll be able to do it because of their own skills and attitudes...not just because someone else did it before them.

To be fair, there is a very broad range of companies that take this approach. Some are sneaky, but some are genuinely sincere in their desire to help.

Regardless, when you imply that someone can succeed with your product or service just because Bob the plumber did it, that’s a lie.

Why am I picking on this particular sales approach?

The big lie upsets me because it is designed to take advantage of people in two of the most vulnerable areas in their lives...personal appearance and finances.

When it comes to how we look and how much money we have, we are at our most vulnerable. Tens of millions of people desperately want to look good, and desperately want to be financially secure.

This means we are very susceptible to persuasive advertising in these areas. We truly want to believe those ads that say we can lose that amount of weight, or we can make that amount of money each month.

It’s like the kid who goes up to a panhandler and offers him five dollars if he’ll jump up and down on one leg for two minutes. The kid has identified the panhandler’s greatest area of vulnerability.

Companies do the same and target women who feel they are over-weight, and men and women who lie awake at night worrying about their finances.

Concluding thoughts...

As I said, some companies selling products and services in these areas are genuinely sincere. But many are not and, like the kid with the panhandler, they have found and are taking advantage of an area of deep vulnerability.

There’s nothing wrong with selling products and services to help people lose weight or make more money.

It’s how you do it that separates those who are sincere from those who are just looking to make quick money, and are happy to lie in the process.

There's one more Big Lie that disc jockeys like to spread:

"The DJ can make or break the success of your event."

What bullshit!

So your prospect should negate the value of all the socializing they'll be doing with friends, family, co-workers, etc. The delicious food being served? Might as well be PB&J. Cold, refreshing and intoxicating libations? Wouldn't matter if it's warm Sunny D. The venue's decor? Flowers and decorations? Centerpieces and tableware? Might as well be Burger King crowns, flimsy napkins and paper-wrapped straws for all it matters. Because what really matters is the music being played, right?

For a small handful of event types that might be true. Dances? Whether it's for a school, singles group or fundraising dinner, if dancing is one of the primary activities that is being promoted as the star attraction, then yes, the crowd-reading experience and music mixing talents of the DJ will be of primary importance.

Large weddings where the planning, coordination and emcee acumen of the DJ is being put to the test with grand entrances, formal dances or perhaps even interactive routines and a "Love Story" presentation? It may not "make or break" the event but certainly a DJ who can work the crowd and the mic will add greatly to the guests' (and clients!) enjoyment. However, for smaller, more informal weddings where as much as 2/3 of the DJ's time is spent playing cocktail and dinner music, people aren't likely to leave because of the background tunes to which they're usually only half-listening to anyway.

I agree that the popular perceptions that "anyone can be a DJ" or that "all the DJ does is play music" are an insult to those disc jockeys who excel in bringing the crowd to its feet and enhance the mechanical playing of recorded music with their personality, mixing and programming skills . A great DJ - like most any professional in most any industry - makes their job look easy.

But today the power of being a DJ - or at least mixing music like one - is now virtually in everyone's hands with an iPod or computer. So its up to us to show how we personally can enhance their event with our experience and, yes, our talent. As I ranted a couple of months ago, talent is not a commodity that can be purchased. You either have it or you don't. Without a doubt there are a host of untalented DJs for whom all their desire, buying the best gear and even buying some of those training seminars and DVDs won't make a decisive impact on the quality of their show.

So next time you hear, "If I can do it, you can too!" think twice. Because maybe, just maybe, you can't.

"You're not a wedding coordinator, you're the DJ!"

Thu, 08 May 2008 03:03:16 GMT

Here comes wedding season! Amid the din of brides who want a deal or "just someone to play music" there are still some who recognize the value of an experienced and talented DJ...and don't mind paying for it. I met one last week who told me the coordinator at her venue (a popular catering hall) was pushing hard to get her to book the "house" DJ.

I told her over the years I'd played a few such places that had built-in sound and they rented it packaged with a DJ as part of their food and beverage service. I usually found the DJ himself would usually reap the princely sum of $100 to bring his own music and use the venue's gear. (The venue would charge the bride $500+.) Any advance planning of the wedding's events was done by the hall's catering director; and I can imagine that music wasn't her focus. It was convenience. Who's convenience? Guess!

Luckily my bride last week was smart enough not to fall for the "package deal" and hired me for my talent, experience, and because SHE is my focus, not arranging events in the interest of getting the serving staff off the clock as soon as possible.

I usually recommend what I've learned to be the best schedule for things to run smoothly and for the maximum enjoyment of the guests. One of those suggestions is rather than do all the formalities at once - toast, first dances, cake cutting, garter/bouquet - is after the toast and first dances to open the dance floor to everyone for about 45 minutes before we cut the cake. Reason? Too many wedding guests have the mindset, "We're only staying until they cut the cake and we're outta here!" If all the formalities are done before they've even had an opportunity to get on the dance floor, they've never tasted the "party" portion of the evening. And it makes it mentally easier for them to slip out.

I always present my itinerary recommendations as recommendations ... suggestions based what I've seen works, and what doesn't. I emphasize I'm happy to do things any way they wish. For instance, some brides want to do the first dances immediately after the grand entrance; I recommend that for large wedding parties or receptions with 200+ guests.

But the venue's pitch for my bride to book the "house DJ" reminded me of a wedding client a couple of years ago who after our planning meeting, said how much they appreciated that insight into the dynamics of wedding guests and were fine with my suggested itinerary. They had an appointment with their catering facility's coordinator the next day and said they would give her a copy of the itinerary we had developed together.

The next day I got an email from the bride saying the coordinator had already developed her own itinerary based on "what works best" at the facility. The bride asked if I could call the coordinator and come together on the plan.

The facility's coordinator wasn't exactly what I'd call "cordial". She insisted there was a "rhythm and flow" to how her particular facility's catering worked. One of the changes she insisted upon was to cut the cake right after the first dances. I reiterated how and why I developed our itinerary and politely told her I work for my client, not the caterer and that I would circle back with my bride and see what SHE wanted to do. The coordinator didn't take that well either. She said in her meeting, the bride told her I had "bullied the bride into" accepting my itinerary. The coordinator told me we HAD to go with her plan because that's what worked best. (Again, worked best for WHO?)

So after that conversation, I sent my client this email --

I spoke with [coordinator] this morning and she said you gave her the impression that I was "bullying" you into accepting the sequence of events we discussed last week. [Coordinator's] thinking was that it would be "difficult" to get people together to the cake, garter and bouquet later in the evening and that she "had trouble" with other DJ's who couldn't do that.

Of course, I don't know the experience level or professionalism of the DJ's she has worked with in the past, but I can assure you executing the sequence of events in our planner ... and having the open dancing "interlude" instead of knocking out all the "formal" events bing, bam, boom ... contributed greatly to the guests' enjoyment and participation in the event. (Translation: It isn't a ghost town after the cake was cut.)

As I wrote you earlier this week, over my 25 years of wedding coordination and entertainment, I've found caterers (and photographers) prefer to do everything at once, so they can have their staff off the clock earlier and they're not standing by while your guests are dancing. My take is you are paying them to cater to *you*, not vice versa.

My only concern is creating a successful event for you and the maximum enjoyment of your guests

Your coordinator and I agree that YOU are the client and our mutual goal is doing what YOU would like and the best itinerary for the enjoyment of your guests.

So if you would like to stick with the itinerary I sent you, don't worry about calling back [coordinator]; I will take care of everything. If you would rather bunch up all the formal events together as [coordinator] suggested, that's fine too!

Just let me know what you'd like to do. Talk to you soon!

Just as I clicked "send", I got another phone call from the venue. This time from the manager who again told me about the "unique rhythm and flow" they had for their venue, which was unlike others. (The venue is actually an old passenger ferry permanently docked on a Seattle lake). I told her I had played at her venue before with a similar schedule and everything ran just fine. The manager, flustered, came back with, "Well you're not a coordinator, you're the DJ! That's why we have a wedding coordinator here!" I didn't want to get into it all over again, so I again told her I would present the options to my client and we would do what SHE wanted to do.

I quickly got an email back from my client saying she never said anything about being "bullied", she didn't know the venue's coordinator "from Adam" and she liked my suggested itinerary "much better".

Long story short, although I had a brief confrontation with the venue manager when I arrived, we went with my schedule. And it was a hit!

I probably won't be getting any referrals from this venue, but no biggie. (The load-in is a bitch anyway!) And it made me ponder 2 things. First, how many other venues and coordinators are deadset convinced that DJ's are only good for pushing play and doing what we're told? And how many are themselves the "bullies" about their itineraries because it's best for the venue and not necessarily for the success of the event? (Like putting the DJ miles from the dance floor because they don't want to move tables around?)

It reinforced how important it is for DJ's to first earn their clients' trust. Let them know you always have their best interests at heart. That you're not there to gig "Wedding #1143" but to create a memorable and personal lifetime milestone for two individuals with individual tastes and preferences. (Did I track down the song "Big Noise From Winnetka" for the bride's Dad? You bet I did!)

I sometimes include a hyperbole in my presentation, "If you want me to play 4 hours of Armenian polka music for your guests, I might advise that not everyone likes Armenian polka music...but it's your day and I want to do exactly what you wish!" It usually gets a chuckle. But one prospect surprised me when she said, "Oh, you have Armenian polka music? That's great! I'm Armenian!"

I might have to change that to "Hawaiian square dancing" but with my luck, that actually exists too. Aloha!

But does he do weddings?

Sat, 03 May 2008 06:28:53 GMT

I had a great conversation today with an Ohio DJ who admitted although he's a 30-year veteran of the industry, he doesn't know a blasted thing about web sites. I gave him advice on the best ways to optimize his site for the search engines, going through his HTML code to make specific suggestions. Before our conversation was over, it sounded like I picked up a new marketing client.

It wasn't really his fault. He did the best he could with an online website design tool, but many of the graphics he had were dated. I won't say that the wedding site I designed for Seattle Weddings was the best I'd ever seen, but it looks contemporary, professional and packed full of the keywords and phrases those seeking my service might search for most.

Over the years, I've seen that's the most effective key to search engine strength: relevancy. I've written more web marketing and copy tips here.

One thing that's strictly verboten - and should seem pretty obvious to anyone creating a DJ website - is that you can't bait your page by having the same word appear over and over just to attract search engines. And it's certainly not allowed for you to make that type the same color as the background so it's "invisible".

Then I was introduced to DJ PorkChop of Panama City, FL. I saw his Google ad on my site BadDJ.com, which now has DJ videos and a live feed of eBay DJ listings. I've got other plans for that site if I ever get the time to put it together. But I digress.

Go to PorkChop's site and do what's called the "CTRL+A test" which reveals all the "hidden" text. Then scroll down to the bottom of the page. Now you can see how the porky one has typed the word "wedding" over 500 times. No joke. Five HUNDRED times. Do you think he DJ's weddings? Do you THINK?

I won't get into the rest of the PorkChop web stream of consciousness except to note many of his game titles suspiciously resemble the ones I named and described on my site since 1997. "Digital Fiesta"? I originated that game on the fly, cobbiling it together from a bunch of promo CD's from the station I worked for and what I had left from a case of sombreros I ordered for a Cinco de Mayo corporate event. The page looks like he's collected the best games from many sources; aside from the plagiarism it's worth bookmarking if you do games or interactives.

So here's some free advice to Panama City Porky. Keyword stuffing will get you banned from Google faster than a Hansen song kills a dance floor. As for your Google ad campaign? Try regional targeting. Why do you need someone outside your service area running up your clicks?

I spent some insanely wasted summers in Panama City Beach during my college years. Ah, memories of drunken makeouts at the disco with women whose name I never found out. Could MySpace possibly be as much fun?

Come to think of it, the hell with the internet, fix me a Harvey Wallbanger.

The news doesn't apply to DJs

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 04:36:27 GMT

I'd love to know which world some disc jockeys believe they live in. It's not this one. Call it a recession, depression, slowdown, correction... somehow they believe it doesn't apply to their business.

It used to be a no-brainer. You wanted music at your party? You could bring your boom box, your own pitiful CD collection (ask friends to bring theirs too!) and suffer through guests playing whatever whenever or maybe unhook your home stereo and CD disc changer and press "shuffle". Or you could shell out the big dollars for one of the handful of professional DJ companies out there who already owned thousands of CDs and big speakers. You want it, we got it. So they paid it.

Today it's simple enough for everyone to download MP3's - from iTunes or exchanged free from friends or file sharing sites - to program their own seamless playlist with iTunes or Windows Media, rent a PA system from a local music store (or even a DJ company) for a couple of hundred bucks and click "start". Of course they're foregoing someone who can "read the crowd" and change the music selection on the fly. But for events where music is not the focal point, the mystery is over. It's no longer necessary to hire a professional DJ to have a professional-sounding music mix at your party.

Sure, going in that direction requires some planning and work on the part of the party host. But the fact is pockets are getting leaner. We're all looking to get more for our money. I'd love to have a service come clean my gutters. But since I already own a ladder and a pair of gloves, doing it myself means there's a couple of hundred dollars I can put toward buying $3.75 a gallon gas!

Or that a party planner can put toward food and drink.

Record-high energy, corn and wheat prices in the past year have led to sticker shock in the grocery aisles. The average price of a loaf of bread has increased 32 percent in the last 3 years. In the last year alone, the average price of carton of eggs has increased almost 50 percent.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, the national U.S. unemployment rate is now 5.1 percent. Certain states are faring much worse. Currently, California has 6.2% jobless. Michigan? A whopping 7.2%. Yet how many Los Angeles or Chicago disc jockeys have reevaluated their pricing in the last year? Mostly you hear DJs in those cities espousing to their colleagues, "Raise your rates!"

It's certainly a valid point for wedding events where a DJ's coordination, emcee and mic skills can greatly enhance the actual playing of dance music. Ditto for corporate events where there may be an awards presentation, interactive party games or gift distribution to which an personality DJ can make more entertaining and add production value.

But for the majority of prospective clients who don't need that type of what I call "care and feeding" who are weighing paying big bucks for a professional DJ to doing it themselves?

They're taking a real world economy check!

Paraphrasing multi-system owner Robb Smith, founder of the Tampa's FAME Disc Jockey School, who spoke at this month's National Association of Mobile Entertainers conference, "All the DJs who are refusing to negotiate from their $1200 rates are sitting at home on Saturday nights posting on DJ boards how they're sticking to their $1200 rates."

Now in some DJ circles if Smith was overheard saying that, or subsequently, "Some money is better than no money", he'd get lynched. So why am I seeing many of the biggest, most successful DJ companies charging 30-50% less than my corporate and bridal rate? Should I hang a rope from a tall tree to knock some sense into these unprofessional lowballers? Or are they actually savvy businessmen who let their egos be damned (or what other DJs might say about them) and smartly change with the current technology and economy to maintain a viable business?

I'll continue to seek out those clients and events which can maximize the benefit from my talent and experience. But as long as there's fear of rice rationing, economic downturns, and continued consumer technological advances for those clients who only need someone to spin tunes I'm going to live in this world, and not in the way I'd like it to be.

Is your DJ a molester?

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 01:42:40 GMT

It's funny how you hear warnings about investigating potential nannys, maids, contractors, house painters or anyone who does work around your loved ones. Yet many people have no compunction about hiring the lowest price disc jockey to be part of their kid's Sweet 16 or among their guests' children at their wedding reception.

Was this New York DJ cruising his parties for per- verse pro- spects? Maybe we'll never know. But it's ama- zing how it seems that increasing numbers of people looking to hire a disc jockey really only ask one question...

"How much?"

As if all DJs are equally qualified, have the same integrity and background do the same thing and are essentially interchangeable. The only thing different? The price, of course!

How many large DJ companies - some of whom recruit their personnel for $200 a party on the bastion of legitimacy known as Craigslist - do any kind of background check on their talent?

Can you plug in a microphone? You have a dependable car? Know a little about music? Interview over, you're hired!

I'm not saying that a disc jockey's morality is commensurate with their price. Six years ago, the owner of a DJ company who advertises weddings for $895 (toward the upper end of the price scale in the Seattle market) pled guilty to voyeurism. I'm sure that $5,000 DJs can be pervs too. My point is that it's silly to think everyone who shares the same profession is the same type of person except for the price they charge for their services.

One of the standard sales pitch lines DJs are taught to say to prospects who seem price-focused is, "Is price the most important thing to you in your search for a DJ?" In sharing responses with other professional mobile DJs at national conventions, I was horrified to learn the number of prospects who give an unqualified, "Yes, it is!"

My advice to those searching for DJs? Do your due diligence! If the integrity and reputation of the disc jockey you hire is just as important as their price, you've learned a lesson more valuable than the measly few hundred dollars you think you've saved.

If not?

I believe you get what you pay for ... and perhaps what you deserve.

Do I amuse you?

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 05:40:18 GMT

I always get a smile when I hear DJ's say anything other than playing music makes them "a clown".

Do I amuuuuuse you? I hope so. I have to admit that doing interactive games and contests is just about as much fun for me as spinning tunes. People love to laugh but don't always get into music and dancing. At the end of the night it gives me a real charge knowing that I helped everyone have a good time.

I'm not the only one. Enter Disco the Clown ... a disc jockey totally unashamed and unafraid to play the fool for a laugh. Oh yeah, DJ Flo of Caldwell, New Jersey will also spin tunes at your wedding without the orange hair.

OK, I confess I never put on a big red nose as a DJ. But I have put on a short blond wig, draped a black metallic scarf around my neck and roamed the room singing "Great Balls of Fire" to a Jerry Lee Lewis backup track. Someday I'll be brave (or drunk) enough to put that video online.

Just make sure you're laughing with me and not at me. We all know what happened to Spider.

Ah, the first $250 DJ of the season

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 01:59:49 GMT

Despite the late season snows, spring fever has hit the Seattle DJ community with the appearance of the first $250 DJ of the season.

Sounds like its time for a little professional bonding...and we'll do it April 21 at the Seattle DJ Association Spring Thing. The meetings have transitioned into more about social networking in its new quarterly format, although I'll still be leading a short group discussion on the hot DJ issues of today. That never fails to bring a lot of lively opinions and it's great to hear all the different points of view.

Unlike some organizations.

Which reminds me, I clicked in to see what was left of the Seattle chapter of the American Disc Jockey Association on their website. Before I was (in violation of every due process) defrocked there, we had 15 paying members.

Now? And then there was one.

Of course since you need 10 members to even have a chapter, I guess all that are left are the memories and the domain name. (Why is the ADJA still taking additional local chapter dues from national members in cities where there is no local chapter?)

I'm encouraged that the Seattle DJ Association has already received more RSVPs than for any previous meeting. I hope it's not just the free beer. Looking forward to getting my schmooze on!

Leave Ferrell alone!

Wed, 12 Mar 2008 21:49:20 GMT

Leave it to Indianapolis DJ Mark Beecher to pull no punches!

Don't know that this will make Mark the next Chris Crocker, but it certainly shows that DJ huckster Mark Ferrell is running out of wool to pull over savvy disc jockeys' eyes.

The "T" word

Fri, 22 Feb 2008 10:04:29 GMT

How many American Idol hopefuls sang pitch-perfect notes, but didn't get a ticket to Hollywood? How many aspiring actors can recite every Lee Strasberg tenet, yet are plying their trade in community theater while waiting tables?

Before mobile disc jockeys for hire became a bonafide business in the late 70's, there were no manuals, books, or convention speakers with promises of success. The best DJ's made their names because they had passion, presence and - dare I say it - talent.

Arrggghhh! I said the "T" word! A quality that apparently every other kind of entertainer needs to have to be successful except for DJ's. Because evidently all you need to know about being a disc jockey can be had for a price. What songs to play, what buttons to push, in what order to introduce the bridal party and the steps to the Electric Slide...the only thing that stands between you is a book or DVD.

How many want to hear that their avocation escapes their inate ability? When toussle-haired Colton Berry was voted off American Idol tonight, Ryan Seacrest asked the judges for some encouraging parting words. Randy and Paula told him to stick with his singing and it could become his career. Simon seemed more honest advising the lad to find a regular job and continue singing because he enjoyed it...but not as a profession.

You might not quite need model good looks and a great personality to be turned away from paying $1000 to learn the MarBecca Method. But what about someone who wasn't very attractive and had a speech impediment? No matter! As long as you follow the instructions you're golden. Talent might lead to going off-script. And as He tells us, "Your clients' reception is NOT the place to try something new.'"

The free training begins soon. Learn your lessons well and you might someday work for a company who'll charge their clients $1200 for the privilege of hiring a $200 disc jockey.

Every time DJ's decry the DIY "friend of a friend" iPod disc jockey who's ruining the industry, they forget that today anyone who can read a book, watch a DVD or attend a workshop can call themselves a DJ. It's not rocket science.

But it does take talent. That's something you can't buy. Or learn. Or make a profit on. And that's why you don't see the "T" word discussed. It's not a commodity. You either got it or you don't.

What aspiring DJ wants to admit that they don't got it, and might well never have it?

Do I have it? If it's true that your talent is only of as much value as much as someone will pay you for it, I guess I have more than many and less than some.

So does that make Madonna a more talented singer than Christina Amphlett simply based on her paycheck? If Christina would have taken more dancing lessons and went to a few singers' conventions, would she have reached superstar status as well? Would Marcello Pedalino get his same paycheck with a laptop and two speakers on sticks? And is the $300 Saturday night bowling alley DJ whose regulars enjoy the hell out of him "untalented" because he doesn't want to learn how to wow a bar mitzvah?

For the answers to these and other questions, take an honest look into your disc jockey soul. You can sling a lot of bullshit to impress your buddies in Las Vegas, but you can't pass the mirror forever.

If you haven't seen it before, it's new to you

Sat, 16 Feb 2008 08:17:32 GMT

What do I have in common with a famous equine, besides being an occasional horse's ass? In the words of the famous TV theme song:

People yakkity yak a streak and waste your time of day
But Mister Ed will never speak unless he has something to say!

The oft-quoted axiom, "The more things change, the more they stay the same" seems to explain my self-imposed exile from this blog the last couple of months. How many times can I take the same bloviating DJ demagogues to task and keep it interesting?

Anyone remember CNN's Arthur Kent? During the Gulf War, his coverage earned the hunky correspondent the nickname "Scud Stud". He eventually took his press so seriously, no network would have him - or his ego. Ditto for internet blogger Matt Drudge post-Monica Lewinsky. Matt will always be credited for legitimizing the blogosphere as a viable source of unfiltered news, but you won't see him on TV much anymore and last fall his syndicated radio show quietly went away.

So shouldn't I get back to talking smack about the ADJA? It seems they did a great job of reenacting their back-slapping "good old boy" routine at their 3+ hour national meeting at the Mobile Beat Las Vegas confab last week. Even the members of their award-winning Chicago chapter walked out after too much backslapping and too many inside jokes among ~~Moe~~ Mark Ferrell, ~~Larry~~ Dr. Drax, and ~~Curly~~ Randy Bartlett. Oh but that's only because they're like a family where "everybody really knows each other".

Or all the people who really matter know each other. Which, unfortunately for most ADJA members, doesn't include them. As much as the economics of DJ-dom revolve around the ADJA and its loyalists, it will be interesting to see the spin.

But it won't come from me: it's too obvious and too cheap a shot. And I don't want to end up like Kent and Drudge by singing like Johnny One Note.

Haven't been writing for DJ Chat, either. The cyclical nature of whining over Craigslist bottomfeeders, DIY brides and egos has mostly bored me. Any hint of something new and innovative quickly gets pounced upon by the status quo.

But as an observer of the mobile DJ profession, should I innovate or commentate? Sure, there are a number of innovations I employ in my own business; some of which I share with members of our local DJ association and other event professionals. It's become obvious that those DJ's who really DO know better aren't indiscriminately sharing that proprietary knowledge with their peers. Not even the ones who package it up and peddle it around the country in seminars. It's like those real estate wizards on late-night TV. If they really did have the goose who laid the golden egg, why would they sell the bird and not just omelets?

Isn't that how NBC used to promo it's "Must See TV" reruns? If you haven't seen them, "they're new to you!" So the DJ newbies will continue to ooh and ahh over the same old same old at the annual Las Vegas DJ conventions. Yet the so-called industry innovators continue to repackage the same drivel and pass it off as fresh new concepts.

Where's the real progress and innovation in the mobile DJ industry? I'm still not seeing it in any great amount. So it might be another few months before I opine here again. After all, I don't want to speak unless I have something to say.

One thing's for sure, to continue calling attention to and berating those peddling their tired wisdom simply because they continue to ~~bamboozle~~ enchant those who haven't yet discovered it's merely "new to you"? For me it's still a rerun. And I'm changing the channel.

The way we've always done it

Fri, 21 Dec 2007 22:12:38 GMT

It's been a wild ride for me this holiday season as I wrap up a busy schedule of corporate holiday parties. Many of my shows were for repeat clients who appreciate how my talent and experience enhances their event and are happy to pay a price that's above market average to insure their party will again be a hit.

This year, one of my new corporate clients insisted on me meeting in person with their party committee at their offices. Although I like a longer lead time, unfortunately I wasn't able to do schedule their meeting until the day before their event. It was fine with them, and I drove out to their offices in a suburban industrial park.

In that meeting was the boss, the boss's son, folks from HR and another employee who was introduced to me as the "emcee" for their annual event. Usually I cringe whenever the client designates one of their crew to do raffle drawings, etc. My experience has been that individual almost always speaks in a low voice, is disorganized and has all the personality of a turnip. This guy had a commanding presence, was affable and seemed to know what he was doing. (The night of the show, he didn't disappoint...in fact, I was impressed!)

I was given a copy of the itinerary for the night that they had developed. I was told it was "the way we've always done it". We were to start at 7 PM at which time the buffet was to be opened. With 29 table rounds of 8 each, I asked whether they had the tables numbered and would be dismissed to the food line in groups so there wouldn't be 200+ people snaked around the room. I even mentioned we could put cards with a certain Christmas song title on them, and when that song played it would be their cue to go serve themselves.

They'd never done that before, and didn't see any need to do so now.

I didn't want to belabor the point with them, because the schedule went on to show "DJ Entertainment" from 8:30 - 9:30 PM which they designated as the time I would do some interactive games. Then from 9:30 - 10:15 PM the boss would give his annual speech and hand out service awards. Then a drawing for their grand prize, round trip airfare for 2 anywhere in the US.

To me it seemed like a long time for people to be in their seats. No wonder they said that as soon as the speech was over and the drawing was done, there would be a beeline for the door! Of course...because people never really got a chance to hit the dance floor!

My suggestion was to do some games during dinner, leading up to the big "My Boss The Christmas Tree" interactive immediately before the speech. The speech would be moved to 8:30, with all the awards distributed by 9:15 so everyone would have a chance to hit the dance floor while it was still relatively early. We'd keep the airfare drawing at 10:15 pm so people would stick around.

I believe it's easier for people to slink out if they have never hit the dance floor during the night. If the schedule is designed for them to do so before the big prize giveaway, it's been my experience they are more likely to stay after the drawing. By then they've had a couple of dances and have a chance to think, "Hey, this is fun...I think I'll stick around and party!" instead of looking at their watch.

What's that Newton said about objects at rest tending to stay at rest?

But the immediate consensus of the party committee is they didn't want to change their itinerary because, "it's the way we've always done it."

My experience told me I was right. Their group would have more fun and stay longer with my itinerary suggestions. But I never want to have a confrontation with my client. The bottom line is that I'm the hired help and I want to respect their vision for their event...even if they confess it's not really working for them.

So I'm always careful to preface my suggestions with, "In my experience with hundreds of events, this is what works best...but your corporate culture may be different." (Even though it's probably not...most people react the same way.)

Long story short, they agreed to change the timetable and people stayed until the very very end of the party.

Another event for the local office a prominent national accounting firm met with the same initial input from their HR folks: their employees didn't usually let down their hair for any type of party activities. They ate and left. The challenge of a small crowd of around 50 people was an additional hurdle. We came in with some fun trivia and other activities during the night and then segued to dance music. The result? An hour of overtime and the undying gratitude of the client.

As the end of the year is a natural time for introspection, perhaps we should all examine "how we've always done it" and open our minds to other methods ... especially if what we're doing now (and how we're doing it) isn't meeting our expectations. I do believe change for the sake of change is inevitably bad. And blindly following other modes of thinking - or so-called "leaders" - simply because others follow them is ridiculous. But using a little empirical thinking with an open mind is never a bad idea.

Here's wishing everyone's 2008 is no less than great!

Cold pizza

Mon, 10 Dec 2007 04:56:34 GMT

There's a local pizza chain who without question has the best pizza in Seattle. In fact, over the years they've consistently won top ratings in all the local newspaper and magazine "Best Of" rankings. As delicious as this pizza is, sometimes we can't finish it all and put it in the fridge. Next day when it's reheated it's close to recapturing its original flavor, although not quite equaling its original tastiness.

The more you reheat it, the less satisfying it becomes.

So why is Mobile Beat owner Ryan Burger (l.) and show producer and former Mobile Beat owner Mike Buonaccorso serving up the same reheated menu of programs and seminars at their 2008 convention? Either because they've lost their passion or lost their mind.

The first big ballyhoo about next year's confab came yesterday from Mark Ferrell Himself in an email to all members of his paid DJ ~~cult~~ forum, DiscJockeyAmerica. Although I'm not a member, I still somehow got sent this mail, as were other non-members who forwarded me this mail. A message which had no less than THREE exclamation points in the subject:

Subject: We Are Going to Have a BLAST!!!

Dear DJA Member,

Can I just tell you how excited Rebecca and I are about this coming Mobile Beat DJ Show?! You have simply GOT to make it this year!

Mobile Beat has always been a supporter of The Worth Movement and has been consistent with the DJA Mission Statement by providing the best seminars and speakers in the entire Mobile DJ Industry. Mobile Beat is dedicated to advancing our industry.

This year’s Mobile Beat Show will feature outstanding seminars by some of DJA’s most prominent Members: RANDY BARTLETT will be doing an extensive seminar on Microphone technique and how using your mic can help you command a room. PETER MERRY will be doing a seminar with his lovely wife, Lisa, on how the things we think and say affects our success. LARRY WILLIAMS will be presenting a seminar that he’s very passionate about on improving public perception. ALL OF THESE ARE ‘MUST SEE’ SEMINARS!!

RandyPeterMark strikes again! (Oh, and Larry.)

Long ago and not that far away - Atlantic City, actually - the first mobile DJ convention emerged as a result of a thirst for knowledge and camaraderie. Produced by DJ Times magazine, its conventions continue to stay on the cutting edge.

Since that first convention a robust and freely accessible body of industry knowledge has amassed. From hundreds of thousands of online articles dating back to 1996 and the Usenet to dozens of mobile DJ message boards, websites and forums. And plenty from RandyPeterMarkLarry. Do we really need to spend hundreds of dollars to see these broken records in person?

For instance, you want to learn microphone skills? Save yourself a trip.

But there's more. Even with the maturation of our industry and granular details of mobile DJ basics online or in books, the Mobile Beat convention seems happily stuck in DJ101. They've never acknowledged that many of us have been there and done that. We're ready to go to the next level. Yet for us, no "advanced" seminar track.

Most "real" conventions have several different "tracks" - parallel programs of seminars for different levels of interest and experience. Why did Mobile Beat long ago give up on doing this? And why did it seem to end about the same time as the emergence of them booking speakers who - instead of giving useful, instantly implementable information - delivered 90-minute teases for their DVDs you could buy at the end of their talk?

Perhaps they couldn't find enough qualified presenters without something to sell who would give up their time for free. That's OK. Who needs experts to give real seminars, when you can get authors to deliver sales pitches? Other concurrent seminars would only dilute the patsies audience. No wonder there's no DJ201 or even DJ301!

And when did philosophy become more important at DJ conventions than sales and performance knowledge? Does it really matter which things Peter Merry determined we "thought and said" that affect our success? (We know how it's affected his.) If you can't add to my performance or business acumen as a disc jockey, then save us sermons from your mount.

Speaking of self-styled deities, the email goes on to inform us although Mark Ferrell Himself won't officially be giving a convention seminar, if you hurry you can be fortunate enough to grab the last "few seats open for the Love Story Workshop (February 14th and 15th) and the MC Workshop (February 7th and 8th)" for Six Hundred Dollars each.

That's about 3 times the price of the whole convention. Wouldn't you think if Mobile Beat was truly "dedicated to advancing our industry" they'd put their money where their mouths are by making their 3-day event of a higher worth to their attendees than a single seminar? Nah! Let's just show 'em Coke and Pepsi again!

WE ARE GOING TO HAVE A BLAST! THIS YEAR’S MOBILE BEAT SHOW WILL BE DJA’S BIGTIME FUN SHOW. MOBILE BEAT, LAS VEGAS, AND DJA = THE BEST SHOW EVER!!! We can’t wait to give you a big hug!

Hugs or no hugs, did Mobile Beat make the right decision by throwing in with Mark Ferrell? Without a doubt this bad M.F. (shut yo' mouth!) has a polarizing influence on our industry. You either think he's the best thing since MP3 compression or he's s self-important demagogue. Maybe the total number of Vegas convention attendees has been on a slide and Mobile Beat is grabbing at straws. Instead of maintaining an independent voice, why not capitalize on Ferrell's Followers with a new marketing alliance?

You can't bullshit a bullshitter, especially one who costs $600 an audience. The new partnership might well be as much of a move for Ferrell to shore up his failed podcast site and admissions for his seminars and message board.

Gentlemen, start your engines. Will there be a checkered flag or a flaming brick wall wipeout? The preening has already begun.